I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
