I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
