Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
