I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
