I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Your shirt... Was in my pants
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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