handjob tips. give me some.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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