talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
