the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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