Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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