I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
