nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
