No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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