I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize