Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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