she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
