I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
