i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
