DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
