hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
