So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
