She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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