And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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