You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I believe in your delicious
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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