So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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