Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
