I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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