She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
