I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize