But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
