and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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