Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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