i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
