How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
