I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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