Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
