About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
