Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
