My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
