Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
