I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
