I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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