tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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