Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
