In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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