Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
