thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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