Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
