turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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