pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Life is so much better after having sex.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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