Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
