My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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