I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you would pick up someone in the library
We got so high we made milksteak
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am available for nakedness
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
