tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
