the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
