I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
