a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize