I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
