I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
