Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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